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Quote by Jerry Seinfeld
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you dont have

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you dont have a top for it. – Jerry Seinfeld

Other quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept Gods final word on where your lips end. – Jerry Seinfeld

Category:
God
Author
Jerry Seinfeld
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To me, if life boils down to one thing, its movement. To live is to keep moving. – Jerry Seinfeld

Category:
Life
Author
Jerry Seinfeld
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The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didnt have that kind of personality, and its a terrifying thing to say. – Jerry Seinfeld

Category:
Truth
Author
Jerry Seinfeld
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

You can go to a play that is enjoyable because its funny, and then on the next night you can go to a play thats enjoyable because its disturbing. – Wallace Shawn

Category:
funny

I love funny people, and when Im with funny people, or people who are amusing in their weirdness, I love it. Because that to me is funny, as opposed to someone who stops and says, Hey let me tell you a joke. – Paul Feig

Category:
funny

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave. – Quentin Crisp

Category:
funny

I knew exactly what to do on Alien, it was funny. – Ridley Scott

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

Im against big bureaucracy in Washington making health care decisions. I just have an aversion to bureaucrats. But its not just government bureaucrats. I dont like HMO bureaucrats and insurance company bureaucrats either. – Gary Bauer

Category:
Government

Civilization is a method of living, an attitude of equal respect for all men. – Jane Addams

Category:
Attitude

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, youll find one at the end of your arm. – Sam Levenson

Category:
Birthday

It is a wretched taste to be gratified with mediocrity when the excellent lies before us. – Isaac Disraeli

Category:
Excellence