Quote by Elayne Boosler
Ive never been married, but I tell people Im divorced so they wont

Ive never been married, but I tell people Im divorced so they wont think somethings wrong with me. – Elayne Boosler

Other quotes by Elayne Boosler

Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. Theres nothing more satisfying. – Elayne Boosler

Category:
Home
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I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. – Elayne Boosler

Category:
Humorous
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

Billy is a funny, cheeky, lovely boy and I love being with him. Parenthood is terrifying though. I can barely walk past a building without panicking that its going to collapse on his head. – Rufus Sewell

Category:
funny

Its a funny thing that when a man hasnt anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. – Robert Frost

Category:
funny

What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny. – David Sedaris

Category:
funny

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. – James Thurber

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

My book Trust Your Heart, which is the story of my life, will be followed by Singing Lessons, a memoir of love, loss, hope, and healing, which talks about the death of my son and the hope that has been the aftermath of the healing from that tragedy. – Judy Collins

Category:
Death

Best friends? Well, I guess you could call us that but I think we are more like sisters. – Author unknown

Category:
Best Friends

But what is Hope? Nothing but the paint on the face of Existence the least touch of truth rubs it off, and then we see what a hollow-cheeked harlot we have got hold of. – Lord Byron

Category:
Hope

Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. – George Santayana

Category:
History