Ive never been married, but I tell people Im divorced so they wont think somethings wrong with me. – Elayne Boosler
I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food. – Elayne Boosler
I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots. – Elayne Boosler
I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. Its not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. Its the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is Delete. – Elayne Boosler