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Quote by Elayne Boosler
Ive never been married, but I tell people Im divorced so they wont

Ive never been married, but I tell people Im divorced so they wont think somethings wrong with me. – Elayne Boosler

Other quotes by Elayne Boosler

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone. – Elayne Boosler

Category:
alone
Author
Elayne Boosler
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I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. – Elayne Boosler

Category:
Humorous
Author
Elayne Boosler
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Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. Theres nothing more satisfying. – Elayne Boosler

Category:
Home
Author
Elayne Boosler
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

I took P.S. I Love You thinking it was going to be a little funny, and I ended up crying every day on that film. – Hilary Swank

Category:
funny

Ive always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something. – Carl Hiaasen

Category:
funny

Theyre great girls. Theyre very funny, theyre very smart, theyre fun to be with. Theyre very lively, as I think people can tell. And you know, theyre very confident girls. – Laura Bush

Category:
funny

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasnt the greatest looking guy in the world. – Artie Lange

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

A man may as well expect to grow stronger by always eating as wiser by always reading. – Jeremy Collier

Category:
Books

My mother is the coolest, most amazing person I know. – J. J. Abrams

Category:
amazing

Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways. – Samuel McChord Crothers

Category:
amazing

Friendship without self-interest is one of the rare and beautiful things of life. – James F. Byrnes

Category:
Friendship