Quote by Elayne Boosler
Ive never been married, but I tell people Im divorced so they wont

Ive never been married, but I tell people Im divorced so they wont think somethings wrong with me. – Elayne Boosler

Other quotes by Elayne Boosler

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. – Elayne Boosler

Category:
Humorous
Read Quote

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didnt have that rule when Jesus was born. – Elayne Boosler

Category:
mom
Read Quote

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone. – Elayne Boosler

Category:
alone
Read Quote
Other Quotes from
funny
category

I write about wounds, the eternal treasons of life. Its not very funny, but its sincere. My commitment is to sincerity. – Tahar Ben Jelloun

Category:
funny

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier. – Howard Nemerov

Category:
funny

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. – Laurence J. Peter

Category:
funny

I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didnt want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece. – Rob Corddry

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

There is always the danger that we may just do the work for the sake of the work. This is where the respect and the love and the devotion come in – that we do it to God, to Christ, and thats why we try to do it as beautifully as possible. – Mother Teresa

Category:
God

Without Arthurs voice, I never would have enjoyed that success. – Paul Simon

Category:
Success

We should have a State in which we could live and breathe as free men and which we could develop according to our own lights and culture and where principles of Islamic social justice could find free play. – Muhammad Ali Jinnah

Category:
Men

The needs of babies and toddlers were constant and drained the life out my sense of self and my familys relationship with each other. – Mika Brzezinski

Category:
relationship