Women: You cant live with them, and you cant get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something. – Emo Philips
My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing. – Emo Philips
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men dont seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. – Emo Philips
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. – Emo Philips