Ive exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. – Erma Bombeck
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. – Erma Bombeck
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. – Erma Bombeck
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. – Erma Bombeck
Whatever its origin, a belief in spirits seems to have been common to all the nations of the ancient world who have left us any record of themselves. Ghosts began to walk early, and are walking still, in spite of the shrill cock-crow of wir haben ja aufgeklärt. – James Russell Lowell, “Witchcraft”