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Quote by Emo Philips
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. - Emo

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. – Emo Philips

Other quotes by Emo Philips

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesnt work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. – Emo Philips

Category:
Forgiveness
Author
Emo Philips
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He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites. – Emo Philips

Category:
smile
Author
Emo Philips
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Probably the worst time in a persons life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise its been a pretty good day. – Emo Philips

Category:
Family
Author
Emo Philips
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

I dont know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why hes funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me. – Paul Lynde

Category:
funny

What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and were chatting away, nice to see you. – Anthony Holden

Category:
funny

Especially with a comedy, youve got the clear cut goal of trying to make a scene funny. Its not like drama where youre trying to achieve some kind of emotion or trying to further the story along. Youre trying to figure out whats the funniest way to do something. – Luke Wilson

Category:
funny

I think if they put a laugh track on Intervention, it would be funny. – Zach Galifianakis

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

A kitten is in the animal world what a rosebud is in the garden. – Robert Southey

Category:
pet

Better luck next time they say, or you win some you lose some, I guess its something like that. – James Dye

Category:
Winning, Winners

Generosity during life is a very different thing from generosity in the hour of death one proceeds from genuine liberality and benevolence, the other from pride or fear. – Horace Mann

Category:
Death

When I look at a lot of older stuff that Ive written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard. – David Sedaris

Category:
Humor