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Quote by Emo Philips
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. - Emo

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. – Emo Philips

Other quotes by Emo Philips

He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites. – Emo Philips

Category:
smile
Author
Emo Philips
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You dont appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life. – Emo Philips

Category:
good
Author
Emo Philips
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy hes always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes hes important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill OReilly, except shorter and Jewish. – Denis Leary

Category:
funny

Thats my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard. – Joe Rogan

Category:
funny

Johnny Rotten. Hes a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and hed stand up and holler. Hes funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Dont think hes a jerk because he isnt. – Don Van Vliet

Category:
funny

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means… its dirty. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

National honor is national property of the highest value. – James Monroe, first inaugural address, 4 March 1817

Category:
USA Patriotic

Candidly, I believe most corporations actually dont mind big government. – Rick Santorum

Category:
Government

As soon as men know that they can kill without fear of punishment or blame, they kill or at least they encourage killers with approving smiles. – Simone Weil

Category:
Fear

When you have seven percent unemployed, you have ninety-three percent working. – John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Category:
Optimism