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Quote by Emo Philips
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. - Emo

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. – Emo Philips

Other quotes by Emo Philips

Women: You cant live with them, and you cant get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something. – Emo Philips

Category:
Women
Author
Emo Philips
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When I wake up in the morning, I just cant get started until Ive had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, Ive tried other enemas. – Emo Philips

Category:
Morning
Author
Emo Philips
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

I love weird or funny or beautiful sentences Joy Williams could write a microwave-oven manual and Im sure Id love it, because the sentences would be tuned up like music. – Karen Russell

Category:
funny

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. – Steve Martin

Category:
funny

Even as a kid I was never the generator of humor, but I always knew who was funny, who to hang out with. – Andrew Stanton

Category:
funny

When human judgment and big data intersect there are some funny things that happen. – Nate Silver

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

Jennas traveled with me theyve both traveled with their dad. This is the only time theyve been old enough in all of their dads campaigns to really be involved in. – Laura Bush

Category:
dad

I think in friendship, you want to be there for your friend, and sometimes you just dont know what to do or the relationship you have with them is not clear enough for you to know what to do. – Marion Cotillard

Category:
Friendship

Love is missing someone whenever you’re apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you’re close in heart. – Kay Knudsen

Category:
Goodbye

Prior to the passage of the Patriot Act, it was very difficult – often impossible – for us to share information with the Central Intelligence Agency, with NSA, with the other intelligence agencies, and likewise, for them to share information with us. – Robert Mueller

Category:
Intelligence