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Quote by Emo Philips
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. - Emo

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. – Emo Philips

Other quotes by Emo Philips

Women: You cant live with them, and you cant get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something. – Emo Philips

Category:
Women
Author
Emo Philips
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesnt work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. – Emo Philips

Category:
Forgiveness
Author
Emo Philips
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

I never said most of the things I said. – Yogi Berra

Category:
funny

The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but thats about it. – Arthur Smith

Category:
funny

The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny, youve immediately halved the odds of it not being funny. – Steve Coogan

Category:
funny

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. – Mark Twain

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

I love photo sessions. Im alone, Im the queen, everyones taking care of me. – Eva Herzigova

Category:
alone

What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl

Category:
Light

Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express. – Joseph Addison

Category:
Daughters

Poetry is something that happens in universities, in creative writing programs or in English departments. – Mark Strand

Category:
Poetry