When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henny Youngman
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. – Henny Youngman
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated! – Henny Youngman
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, hes Frank and in Chicago hes Ernest. – Henny Youngman
It is not heroin or cocaine that makes one an addict, it is the need to escape from a harsh reality. There are more television addicts, more baseball and football addicts, more movie addicts, and certainly more alcohol addicts in this country than there are narcotics addicts. – Shirley Chisholm