When God was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. An angel nearby said, What kind of father is that? If you – Erma Bombeck
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one Im taking with me when I go. – Erma Bombeck
It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners. – Erma Bombeck
If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair. – Erma Bombeck
Sir Walter, being strangely surprised and put out of his countenance at so great a table, gives his son a damned blow over the face. His son, as rude as he was, would not strike his father, but strikes over the face the gentleman that sat next to him and said Box about: twill come to my father anon. – John Aubrey