When God was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. An angel nearby said, What kind of father is that? If you – Erma Bombeck
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. – Erma Bombeck
I havent trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. Ive never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex. – Erma Bombeck
Sir Walter, being strangely surprised and put out of his countenance at so great a table, gives his son a damned blow over the face. His son, as rude as he was, would not strike his father, but strikes over the face the gentleman that sat next to him and said Box about: twill come to my father anon. – John Aubrey
My fans mean everything to me – especially the sisters! When youre on The View or youre doing movies and stuff, youre a little bit insulated. It means so much to me when a woman comes up to me and says, Sherri, you said what I feel. That just means so much to me to know that I have that support. – Sherri Shepherd