When God was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. An angel nearby said, What kind of father is that? If you – Erma Bombeck
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. Youre not out of it until the computer says youre out of it. – Erma Bombeck
In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn’t danced on TV. – Erma Bombeck
Sir Walter, being strangely surprised and put out of his countenance at so great a table, gives his son a damned blow over the face. His son, as rude as he was, would not strike his father, but strikes over the face the gentleman that sat next to him and said Box about: twill come to my father anon. – John Aubrey