Weve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet – so we bought a dog. Well, its cheaper, and you get more feet. – Rita Rudner
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. – Rita Rudner
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didnt want him to. – Rita Rudner
Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money? – Rita Rudner