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What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight -

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight – its the size of the fight in the dog. – Dwight D. Eisenhower

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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. Its in the apartment somewhere. – Steven Wright

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It doesnt work if the bad guys kill his mothers uncles friends neighbors pet dog. Youve got to make the stakes high. – Steven Seagal

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Perhaps it is because cats do not live by human patterns, do not fit themselves into prescribed behavior, that they are so united to creative people. – Andre Norton

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One of my biggest pet peeves is that I just dont like it when characters do things that are funny to the writer, but you dont know why theyre doing it and it doesnt make any sense. – Glenn Howerton

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I hate birthdays. I thought that I only hated my own birthday, and then I realized that I hate my childrens birthdays too. – Samantha Bee

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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. – Phyllis Diller

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