Quote by Demetri Martin
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you fin

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says go outside. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Category:
good
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I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin

Category:
Trust
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I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, Looks like youre writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, youll get more money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
cool
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

I actually was class clown, but I dont know how that happened because Ive never been considered an outwardly funny person. – Janeane Garofalo

Category:
funny

I started writing when I was 9 years old. I was like this weird kid who would just stay in my room, typing little funny magazines and drawing comic strips. – R. L. Stine

Category:
funny

A comedians body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny. – Bobby Darin

Category:
funny

Communism is like one big phone company. – Lenny Bruce

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs founded Apple Inc, which set the computing world on its ear with the Macintosh in 1984. – Kevin Mitnick

Category:
Computers

Dieters live life in the fasting lane. – Author unknown

Category:
Dieting

Love is often nothing but a favorable exchange between two people who get the most of what they can expect, considering their value on the personality market. – Erich Fromm

Category:
Love

After all, the chief business of the American people is business. They are profoundly concerned with producing, buying, selling, investing and prospering in the world. – Calvin Coolidge

Category:
Business