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Quote by Demetri Martin
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you fin

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says go outside. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, Looks like youre writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, youll get more money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
cool
Author
Demetri Martin
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I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin

Category:
Trust
Author
Demetri Martin
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But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Freedom
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

I dont have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler place. – Vera Farmiga

Category:
funny

I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out. – Margaret Cho

Category:
funny

Im the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. – Mickey Rooney

Category:
funny

Its unbearable when someone changes around you. Just imagine that your life partner changes, then it is difficult to cope with. Or your mother. Or your father. They were strong and now theyre like a baby – its not so funny. – Michael Haneke

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

I love crying at romantic movies like The Notebook. Im always bawling. – Fergie

Category:
movies

Somebody will always break your records. It is how you live that counts. – Earl Campbell

Category:
Competition

The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away. – E.W. Howe

Category:
Cats

There are few ways in which a man can be more innocently employed than in getting money. – Samuel Johnson

Category:
Money