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Quote by Demetri Martin
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you fin

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says go outside. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin

Category:
car
Author
Demetri Martin
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I didnt do improv in college, I never performed, I didnt do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Government
Author
Demetri Martin
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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Time
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

I started writing when I was 9 years old. I was like this weird kid who would just stay in my room, typing little funny magazines and drawing comic strips. – R. L. Stine

Category:
funny

Its funny, because when youre younger youre in a rush to be 18 or 21 or whatever. But then you hit 30. And now, the days go by like hours. You think, 40, man, this could be the halfway point. It could be the three-quarters point, you know? Who knows? – Mark Wahlberg

Category:
funny

I want to be in Funny Girl. And I want Ryan Murphy to direct it. – Lea Michele

Category:
funny

All generalizations are false, including this one. – Mark Twain

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

I have this idealistic and maybe naive thought that almost any song can be anything. If you record one song today, it would maybe be exciting and cool. But I could record the same song next week and it would be something completely different. – Sondre Lerche

Category:
cool

Normally street children are shown in terms of the tragedy of their lives – which is true – but theres also another dimension: their wisdom, dignity and enormous capacity for survival. – Henning Mankell

Category:
Wisdom

The love of the famous, like all strong passions, is quite abstract. Its intensity can be measured mathematically, and it is independent of persons. – Susan Sontag

Category:
famous

To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart. – Phyllis Theroux

Category:
Letters