Quote by Demetri Martin
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you fin

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says go outside. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
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I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin

Category:
Trust
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If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Time
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. – Lewis Black

Category:
funny

I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, its OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink. – Karl Lagerfeld

Category:
funny

If you cant tell a spoon from a ladle, then youre fat! – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny

We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again. – Sheena Easton

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

Well, the chairman of Federal Reserve just made his move to rescue Barack Obama. Were gonna have QE3. Were gonna print some more money. – Rush Limbaugh

Category:
Money

Flattery is a kind of bad money, to which our vanity gives us currency. – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Category:
Money

Light comes to us unexpectedly and obliquely. Perhaps it amuses the gods to try us. They want to see whether we are asleep. – H.M. Tomlinson

Category:
Light

Join the union, girls, and together say Equal Pay for Equal Work. – Susan B. Anthony

Category:
work