Quote by Demetri Martin
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you fin

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says go outside. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin

Category:
Trust
Read Quote

I like to use I Cant Believe its Not Butter on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Food
Read Quote

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Time
Read Quote
Other Quotes from
funny
category

Sometimes I feel like there are people just waiting for me to fall. The funny thing is, I cant give them anything. I have just never been a partier, even in school. – Jordin Sparks

Category:
funny

I wasnt even 20 at the time, but it taught me something about drugs. They can take a good man, a warm, funny, loving family man, and turn him into a loser and worse. – Michael Bergin

Category:
funny

Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders – not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female. – Jo Brand

Category:
funny

Im very silly as a person, but quality silliness on-screen has more of an art to it. Harrison Ford, whom I was in Morning Glory with, has mastered that dry funny better than anyone. – Rachel McAdams

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

Generalised anger and frustration is something that gets you in the studio, and gets you to work – though its not necessarily evident in anything thats finished. – Bruce Nauman

Category:
Anger

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. – G.K. Chesterton

Category:
Curmudgeonesque

Habits are safer than rules; you dont have to watch them. And you dont have to keep them either. They keep you. – Frank Crane

Category:
Habits

Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise. – Samuel Johnson

Category:
Wisdom