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Quote by Demetri Martin
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you fin

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says go outside. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Freedom
Author
Demetri Martin
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I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes youre really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, youre saying: Hope I dont get chased today. Be nice to people in sneakers. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Hope
Author
Demetri Martin
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I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin

Category:
Trust
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

If it werent for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, wed still be eating frozen radio dinners. – Johnny Carson

Category:
funny

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. – W. C. Fields

Category:
funny

Its not so much what you learn about Mumbai, its what you learn about yourself, really. Its a funny old hippie thing, but its true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness. – Danny Boyle

Category:
funny

Actually I never did stand up. Im not that funny. – Maynard James Keenan

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

We are given one life, and the decision is our whether to wait for circumstances to make up our mind, or whether to act, and in acting, to live. – Omar Bradley

Category:
Decisions

I went to military college in Canada and graduated as an officer in the Navy but also as an engineer. – Marc Garneau

Category:
Graduation

Its simply a matter of doing what you do best and not worrying about what the other fellow is going to do. – John R. Amos

Category:
Success & Failure

You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, its kind of a lifestyle and its easy to get caught up in it – you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyones doing a certain thing… Its tough. – Eminem

Category:
funny