But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. – Demetri Martin
Stand-up is like a row boat: its fun and romantic when youre choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat its not as enjoyable thats survival. – Demetri Martin
I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. – Demetri Martin
I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin
The liberals think government exists to fix whats wrong with America. They find fault with our Constitution, our economic model and our core values. We disagree with the premise of their argument. We believe theres nothing wrong with America that an extra dose of freedom wont cure. – Rick Perry
My parents came from Russia and suddenly they wound up in Boston, Massachusetts, Brookline, Massachusetts and they felt the sun rose and set on Franklin Delano Roosevelts backside because he meant so much to them. This was freedom. This was something totally different from the Russia they had left. – Mike Wallace