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Quote by Demetri Martin
Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny ide

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you be prepared to have it on you forever because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Scrapbooking
Author
Demetri Martin
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I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, Looks like youre writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, youll get more money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
cool
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didnt understand, and in a way still dont, because when I look in a mirror it doesnt seem funny to me. – Wallace Shawn

Category:
funny

Its funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life. – Jimi Hendrix

Category:
funny

People always ask me, Were you funny as a child? Well, no, I was an accountant. – Ellen DeGeneres

Category:
funny

If you are a great dramatic actor then you often dont know if people are enjoying your stuff at all because they are sitting there in silence. But with comedy its a simple premise. If its funny, people laugh. If its not, they dont. – Steve Coogan

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing Happy Birthday. – Steven Wright

Category:
Birthday

We live in an age of instant knowledge. And theres almost a sense of entitlement to that. – J. J. Abrams

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Age

Jerry Ford is so dumb he cant fart and chew gum at the same time. – Lyndon B. Johnson

Category:
Presidency

Winning is overrated, because winning and losing are both your acceptance of being rated. – Carrie Latet

Category:
Sports