Quote by Demetri Martin
Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny ide

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin

Category:
car
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I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Category:
good
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I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says go outside. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

Always remember your kids name. Always remember where you put your kid. Dont let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers… for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces. – Amy Poehler

Category:
funny

Comedy is surprises, so if youre intending to make somebody laugh and they dont laugh, thats funny. – Norm MacDonald

Category:
funny

Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like theyre home. Im that way at Saks. – Caroline Rhea

Category:
funny

Thats what I hate about a lot of comedies, when youre hitting a line or making it funny. – Jennifer Aniston

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. – Wendell Johnson

Category:
Speaking

What I take from my nights, I add to my days. – Leon de Rotrou, “Vencelas,” translated

Category:
Night

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Category:
Love

Happiness lies neither in vice nor in virtue but in the manner we appreciate the one and the other, and the choice we make pursuant to our individual organization. – Marquis de Sade

Category:
Happiness