Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children. – Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. – Phyllis Diller
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed. – Phyllis Diller
Theres so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. – Phyllis Diller
Piety and corruption go together like hot dogs and mustard. They have to. No one can fulfill the demands of piety; as a daily demand, it is inhuman. So it inspires the opposite—just for the sheer health of the body, if not the soul. – Norman Mailer, “Primitive Man, Art and Science, Evil and Judgment,” The Spooky A