Quote by Ellen DeGeneres
People always ask me, Were you funny as a child? Well, no, I was a

People always ask me, Were you funny as a child? Well, no, I was an accountant. – Ellen DeGeneres

Other quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed. – Ellen DeGeneres

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Home
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So many people prefer to live in drama because its comfortable. Its like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship – its actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing what to expect. – Ellen DeGeneres

Category:
Marriage
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Other Quotes from
funny
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The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but thats about it. – Arthur Smith

Category:
funny

Its funny how people who aint never been down there can think that America is so fair and that we should be alright. Its funny that the people who have their foot on our neck are telling us, Get up. Whats wrong with you? – Ice Cube

Category:
funny

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
funny

I was going through a little bit of turbulence in my career. And so, its funny how turbulence itself will make you hold onto something for security. And so the only thing I knew is trust in the Lord and lean not unto your own heart, in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path. – Emmitt Smith

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

My feet have several thousand meetings scheduled with the dirt on a trail not far from here. Who am I to keep them waiting? Time to run. – Jeb Dickerson, jebdickerson.com

Category:
Running

Four men are missing R., Sorel and two emigrants. They set out this morning after buffalo, and have not yet made their appearance whether killed or lost, we cannot tell. – Francis Parkman

Category:
Morning

If you want to improve your understanding, drink coffee. Sir James Mackintosh used to say, he believed the difference between one man and another was produced by the quantity of coffee he drank. – Sydney Smith, quoted in A Memoir of the Reverend Sydney Smith: Volume I by his d

Category:
Coffee

Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself; he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Maxims and Reflections

Category:
Adversity