People always ask me, Were you funny as a child? Well, no, I was an accountant. – Ellen DeGeneres
I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I dont care if its called marriage. I dont care if its called, you know, domestic partnership. I dont care what its called. – Ellen DeGeneres
I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we judge one another, when the truth is, we are all one connected thing. We are all from the same exact molecules. – Ellen DeGeneres
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres. – Ellen DeGeneres