There are several ways in which to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory. – Robert Benchley
The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life which does not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest. – Robert Benchley
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. – Robert Benchley
There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who dont. – Robert Benchley
The GAO just released a report that said 22 percent of federal programs fail to meet their objectives. The truth is we dont know how taxpayer money is spent in Washington, D.C., which is why I think we ought to put every agency budget up on the Internet for everyone to see. – Carly Fiorina