A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death. – Robert Benchley
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. – Robert Benchley
One of the chief duties of the fan is to engage in arguments with the man behind him. This department of the game has been allowed to run down fearfully. – Robert Benchley
You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it. – Robert Benchley
Im always told that what I say is controversial. Why is it controversial? Because I speak from a tradition that has now fallen out of favor with the dominant media in this country. And so when I say things like marriage should be between one man and one woman, Im called a bigot. – Rick Santorum