A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death. – Robert Benchley
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. – Robert Benchley
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. – Robert Benchley
The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life which does not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest. – Robert Benchley