Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: This looks much better on. On what? On fire? – Rita Rudner
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I dont even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. – Rita Rudner
Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money? – Rita Rudner
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better. – Rita Rudner