Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: This looks much better on. On what? On fire? – Rita Rudner
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, its quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. – Rita Rudner
Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money? – Rita Rudner
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. – Rita Rudner
Because her instinct has told her, or because she has been reliably informed, the faded virgin knows that the supreme joys are not for her; she knows by a process of the intellect; but she can feel her deprivation no more than the young mother can feel the hardship of the virgins lot. – Arnold Bennett