Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: This looks much better on. On what? On fire? – Rita Rudner
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? – Rita Rudner
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. – Rita Rudner
My husband gave me a necklace. Its fake. I requested fake. Maybe Im paranoid, but in this day and age, I dont want something around my neck thats worth more than my head. – Rita Rudner
Im sure there were times when I wish I had thought, Gosh, that might really embarrass mom and dad, but our parents didnt raise us to think about them. Theyre very selfless and they wanted us to have as normal of a college life as possible. So really, we didnt think of any repercussions. – Jenna Bush