My husband gave me a necklace. Its fake. I requested fake. Maybe Im paranoid, but in this day and age, I dont want something around my neck thats worth more than my head. – Rita Rudner
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: This looks much better on. On what? On fire? – Rita Rudner
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. – Rita Rudner
I get a lot of return business. I think its all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again. – Rita Rudner
We are all hostages, and we are all terrorists. This circuit has replaced that other one of masters and slaves, the dominating and the dominated, the exploiters and the exploited. It is worse than the one it replaces, but at least it liberates us from liberal nostalgia and the ruses of history. – Jean Baudrillard