Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter. – Dave Barry
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. – Dave Barry
What, exactly, is the Internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a “modem” can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo. – Dave Barry
I want a pit crew… I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems. – Dave Barry