Right now Im having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. – Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast anytime.” So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. – Steven Wright

Right now Im having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. – Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast anytime.” So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. – Steven Wright
I went to a cafe that advertised breakfast anytime, so I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. – Steven Wright
I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only two inches taller. – Steven Wright
In the Lamborghini I have to avoid certain roads because of pot holes, and theres nowhere to put my drink, no cup holder. And Im not going to lie, it looks pretentious. I used to think it was cool to, like, drive it to dinner. Now? Like I really need to be looked at any more. – Danica Patrick