Quote by Steven Wright
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. Its in the apart

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. Its in the apartment somewhere. – Steven Wright

Other quotes by Steven Wright

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like Im the only one moving. – Steven Wright

Category:
car
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? – Steven Wright

Category:
Food
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Other Quotes from
pet
category

I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. Its not. Mine had me trained in two days. – Bill Dana

Category:
pet

Vinyl is the real deal. Ive always felt like, until you buy the vinyl record, you dont really own the album. And its not just me or a little pet thing or some kind of retro romantic thing from the past. It is still alive. – Jack White

Category:
pet

I have a pet lizard named Puff, five goldfish – named Pinky, Brain, Jowels, Pearl and Sandy, an oscar fish named Chef, two pacus, an albino African frog named Whitey, a bonsai tree, four Venus flytraps, a fruit fly farm and sea monkeys. – Chris Pratt

Category:
pet

Crabbed and obscure definitions are of no use beyond a narrow circle of students, of whom probably every one has a pet one of his own. – Frederick Pollock

Category:
pet

Random Quotes

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. – Bertrand Russell

Category:
Intelligence

Its odd, because I used to see pictures, on telly or wherever, of what I now know to be Shaftesbury Avenue and I used to wonder what that amazing street with all the lights was. Well, now I know. I think when you get a wee taste of something, it maybe isnt what you thought it was. – Shirley Henderson

Category:
amazing

We spend our lives hurrying away from the real, as though it were deadly to us. “It must be up there somewhere on the horizon,” we think. And all the time it is in the soil, right beneath our feet. – William Bryant Logan, Dirt: The Ecstatic Skin of the Earth

Category:
Gardens

Jesus picked up twelve men from the bottom ranks of business and forged them into an organisation that conquered the world. – Bruce Barton

Category:
Business