I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, What for? I said, Im going to buy some sugar. – Steven Wright
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and Im gone. – Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. – Steven Wright
I bought some instant water one time but I didnt know what to add to it. – Steven Wright
The perfect no-stress environment is the grave. When we change our perception we gain control. The stress becomes a challenge, not a threat. When we commit to action, to actually doing something rather than feeling trapped by events, the stress in our life becomes manageable. – Greg Anderson