Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. – Fred Allen
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. – Fred Allen
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. – Fred Allen
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. – Fred Allen
An actors popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. – Fred Allen
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. – Fred Allen
A pun does not commonly justify a blow in return. But if a blow were given for such cause, and death ensued, the jury would be judges both of the facts and of the pun, and might, if the latter were of an aggravated character, return a verdict of justifiable homicide. – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (1809–1894), The Autocrat of the Breakfast-tabl