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Quote by Fred Allen
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange

California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange. – Fred Allen

Other quotes by Fred Allen

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. – Fred Allen

Category:
Religion
Author
Fred Allen
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I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap. – Fred Allen

Category:
Family
Author
Fred Allen
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Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. – Fred Allen

Category:
Puns
Author
Fred Allen
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

The word funny is a bit like the word love – we dont have enough words to describe the many varieties. – George Saunders

Category:
funny

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
funny

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. – Jimmy Durante

Category:
funny

Lifes pretty funny when youre objectively on the outside looking at it. – Philip Seymour Hoffman

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

I was coming home from kindergarten – well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. Its good for a kid to know how to make gloves. – Ellen DeGeneres

Category:
Home

Ive never missed a gig yet. Music makes people happy, and thats why I go on doing it – I like to see everybody smile. – Buddy Guy

Category:
Music

The most terrifying words in the English language are: Im from the government and Im here to help. – Ronald Reagan

Category:
Government

But somewhere, beyond Space and Time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime!
And there (they trust) there swimmeth One
Who swam ere rivers were begun,
Immense, of fishy form and mind,
Squamous, omnipotent, and kind. – Rupert Brooke

Category:
Fish, Fishing