A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. – Fred Allen
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. – Fred Allen
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion. – Fred Allen
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. Theyre afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. – Fred Allen