The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, whos really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. – Demetri Martin
I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes. – Demetri Martin
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says go outside. – Demetri Martin
This is the great thing about Northern Ireland. I walk down the street and people stop me and say things like, I know you. Youre that wee golfer, arent you? I say, Yeah, thats me. They say, Keep it up, wee man. Its very funny and thats why I want to stay here as long as possible. – Rory McIlroy