Quote by Demetri Martin
The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, whos really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin

Category:
car
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I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Birthday
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I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, Looks like youre writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, youll get more money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
cool
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

I cant not find humor in elements of most parts of life, but at the same time nothing ever seems perpetually funny to me. – Greg Kinnear

Category:
funny

In a funny way, poems are suited to modern life. Theyre short, theyre intense. Nobody has time to read a 700-page book. People read magazines, and a poem takes less time than an article. – Caroline Kennedy

Category:
funny

So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been going on in my life. – Piper Perabo

Category:
funny

So thats why one of my rules of parody writing is that its gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit. – Al Yankovic

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance. – Elizabeth Taylor

Category:
Sex

In a capitalist society, persons who create capital, like Michael Eisner, are given the staggering rewards. – Carroll OConnor

Category:
Society

Im essentially a mommas boy with a good education. – Tom Sizemore

Category:
Education

Metaphors are much more tenacious than facts. – Paul De Man

Category:
Image