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Quote by Demetri Martin
I like to use I Cant Believe its Not Butter on my toast in the mor

I like to use I Cant Believe its Not Butter on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Birthday
Author
Demetri Martin
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I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says go outside. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
Author
Demetri Martin
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But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Freedom
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
Food
category

My mother accidentally gave me food poisoning. She fed me baby carrots for a snack before Christmas dinner – but they had expired in June! I threw up for the next 24 hours. – Busy Philipps

Category:
Food

I love home cooking, and Im not a great one for fast food. – Bear Grylls

Category:
Food

I love spaghetti and meatballs… I eat a lot. – Susan Lucci

Category:
Food

It is, in my view, the duty of an apple to be crisp and crunchable, but a pear should have such a texture as leads to silent consumption. – Edward Bunyard

Category:
Food

Random Quotes

I dont measure a mans success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom. – George S. Patton

Category:
Success

Embraces are cominglings from the head even to the feet, and not a pompous high priest entering by a secret place. – William Blake

Category:
Sex

For a war to be just three conditions are necessary – public authority, just cause, right motive. – Ernest Hemingway

Category:
War

When youre wounded and left on Afghanistans plains, and the women come out to cut up what remains, jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains and go to your gawd like a soldier. – Rudyard Kipling

Category:
Women