Quote by Demetri Martin
I like to use I Cant Believe its Not Butter on my toast in the mor

I like to use I Cant Believe its Not Butter on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin

Category:
Trust
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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Time
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I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes youre really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, youre saying: Hope I dont get chased today. Be nice to people in sneakers. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Hope
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Other Quotes from
Food
category

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought. – P. G. Wodehouse

Category:
Food

You can make any meal into a sandwich, and any sandwich into a meal. – Jeff Mauro, a.k.a. The Sandwich King

Category:
Food

Taste as you go. When you taste the food throughout the cooking process you can make adjustments as you go. – Anne Burrell

Category:
Food

I cant stay away from Chinese food. I really love that stuff. – Shaun White

Category:
Food

Random Quotes

Laws are subordinate to custom. – Plautus

Category:
Customs

The mother of boys work son-up to son-down. – Author Unknown

Category:
Mothers

Time wastes our bodies and our wits, but we waste time, so we are quits. – Author Unknown

Category:
Time

My Movember moustache was never going to be as big as Nigel Mansells, but I tried my best. The amazing thing is that when you try to grow a moustache, you notice everyone elses. There are some amazing moustaches on the grid. – Jenson Button

Category:
amazing