Stand-up is like a row boat: its fun and romantic when youre choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat its not as enjoyable thats survival. – Demetri Martin
The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. – Demetri Martin
The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, whos really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. – Demetri Martin
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says go outside. – Demetri Martin
To lovers, I devise their imaginary world, with whatever they may need, as the stars of the sky, the red, red roses by the wall, the snow of the hawthorn, the sweet strains of music, and aught else they may desire to figure to each other the lastingness and beauty of their love. – Williston Fish, "A Last Will," 1898