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Quote by Fred Allen
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm th

I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap. – Fred Allen

Other quotes by Fred Allen

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. – Fred Allen

Category:
Puns
Author
Fred Allen
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. – Fred Allen

Category:
dad
Author
Fred Allen
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host. – Fred Allen

Category:
Party Invitation
Author
Fred Allen
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Other Quotes from
Family
category

My parents were French and Irish and our family even has Spanish blood-and I do so love the United States and consider myself part American. – Vivien Leigh

Category:
Family

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on lifes list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors. – Jeff Foxworthy

Category:
Family

The pictures of my family were designed to be on a family wall, they were supposed to be together. It was supposed to copy my mothers wall in her house. – Annie Leibovitz

Category:
Family

I dont think anyone has a normal family. – Edward Furlong

Category:
Family

Random Quotes

Ive always wanted to be a spy, and frankly Im a little surprised that British intelligence has never approached me. – Elizabeth Hurley

Category:
Intelligence

I am surprised by how not-adopted the video reply has been. What keeps other people from doing it, I think, is that they think a video comes across as Im cool, look at how many e-mails I get. That perception doesnt scare me, because I know who I am. – Gary Vaynerchuk

Category:
cool

The day is not far off when the economic problem will take the back seat where it belongs, and the arena of the heart and the head will be occupied or reoccupied, by our real problems – the problems of life and of human relations, of creation and behavior and religion. – John Maynard Keynes

Category:
Religion

I think weve been dulled by capitalism. Were just blobs now – were so worried about how we can keep paying the lease on the car, the mortgage, the lease on the toaster and all that. You cant really think about much else. If you lose that, you lose the whole lot. – Rupert Everett

Category:
car