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Quote by Fred Allen
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm th

I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap. – Fred Allen

Other quotes by Fred Allen

California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange. – Fred Allen

Category:
funny
Author
Fred Allen
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host. – Fred Allen

Category:
Party Invitation
Author
Fred Allen
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion. – Fred Allen

Category:
Age
Author
Fred Allen
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Other Quotes from
Family
category

What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life — to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories. – George Eliot

Category:
Family

I am not generous about telling people who I am and what I like to do because its my life and it only belongs to me and my friends and family. – Elena Anaya

Category:
Family

Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit… Santa, who was jolly – but, lets face it, he was also very judgmental. – Julia Sweeney

Category:
Family

Im not asking that people accept homosexuality. Im not asking that they believe like I do that its inborn. Im not asking that. All Im saying is dont let these children suffer without a family because of your bias. – Rosie ODonnell

Category:
Family

Random Quotes

We are all failures — at least, all the best of us are. – James Barrie

Category:
Failure

Tell me what gives a man or woman their greatest pleasure and Ill tell you their philosophy of life. – Dale Carnegie

Category:
Philosophy

I think it goes back to my high school days. In computer class, the first assignment was to write a program to print the first 100 Fibonacci numbers. Instead, I wrote a program that would steal passwords of students. My teacher gave me an A. – Kevin Mitnick

Category:
teacher

We must remind Americans that the promise of opportunity remains unbroken – that every person in this great nation can succeed through hard work, courage and personal responsibility. – Brian Sandoval

Category:
Courage