I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host. – David Letterman
Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, Ive got a doctor with me 24 hours a day. Yeah, thats always the sign of a man in good health, isnt it? – David Letterman
Theres no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. – David Letterman
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees. – David Letterman
Most sailing ships take what they call trainees, who pay to be part of the crew. The Picton Castle takes people who are absolutely raw recruits. But you cant just ride along. Youre learning to steer the ship, navigation youre pulling lines, keeping a lookout in the galley youre cooking. – Billy Campbell