Its so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early – is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan? – David Letterman
Dont forget its daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. Its like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed. – David Letterman
Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, Ive got a doctor with me 24 hours a day. Yeah, thats always the sign of a man in good health, isnt it? – David Letterman
We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, hes also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets. – David Letterman
Theres only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe – because Ive done a little of this myself – pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing. – David Letterman
Theres no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. – David Letterman
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves. – David Letterman
I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host. – David Letterman
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees. – David Letterman
