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Quote by Steven Wright
I bought some batteries, but they werent included. - Steven Wright

I bought some batteries, but they werent included. – Steven Wright

Other quotes by Steven Wright

When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic. – Steven Wright

Category:
Twins
Author
Steven Wright
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? – Steven Wright

Category:
Food
Author
Steven Wright
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

Everything seems fine until youre about 40. Then something is definitely beginning to go wrong. And you look in the mirror with your old habit of thinking, While I accept that everyone grows old and dies, its a funny thing, but Im an exception to that rule. – Martin Amis

Category:
funny

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. – George Carlin

Category:
funny

Maybe Im delusional but Im usually funny. Its not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average. – Adam Carolla

Category:
funny

Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day. – Jennifer Aniston

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

Defined in psychological terms, a fanatic is a man who consciously over-compensates a secret doubt. – Aldous Huxley

Category:
Fanaticism

No more distressing moment can ever face a British government than that which requires it to come to a hard, fast and specific decision. – Barbara Tuchman

Category:
Government

There was one thing my daddy wouldnt tolerate in any shape, form or fashion, and that was being unkind or rude to somebody. That was just very important to my folks. And as it turns out, that was a legacy that he left me that money cant buy, is how to be able to treat people. – Paula Deen

Category:
Money

What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books. – Sigmund Freud, 1933

Category:
Censorship