There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better. – Rita Rudner
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. – Rita Rudner
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. – Rita Rudner
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. – Rita Rudner
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? – Rita Rudner
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside. – Rita Rudner
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. – Rita Rudner
Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money? – Rita Rudner
