The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves. – David Letterman
Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, Ive got a doctor with me 24 hours a day. Yeah, thats always the sign of a man in good health, isnt it? – David Letterman
Theres only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe – because Ive done a little of this myself – pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing. – David Letterman
Theres no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. – David Letterman
For 13 to be unlucky would require there to be some kind of cosmic intelligence that counts things that humans count and that also makes certain things happen on certain dates or in certain places according to whether the number 13 is involved or not (whatever is involved might mean). – Douglas Hofstadter