The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves. – David Letterman
Its so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early – is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan? – David Letterman
Theres only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe – because Ive done a little of this myself – pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing. – David Letterman
Dont forget its daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. Its like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed. – David Letterman
Opponents of capital punishment argue that the state has no right to take a murderers life. Apparently, one fact that abolitionists forget or overlook is that the state is acting not only on behalf of society, but also on behalf of the murdered person and the murdered persons family. – Dennis Prager
We are all representatives of the American people. We all do town hall meetings. We all talk to our constituents. And Ive got to tell you, the American people are engaged. And if you think they want a government takeover of health care, I would respectfully submit youre not listening to them. – Paul Ryan