Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees. – David Letterman
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves. – David Letterman
I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host. – David Letterman
We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, hes also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets. – David Letterman