I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories. – Dave Barry
Bill Gates is a very rich man today… and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions. – Dave Barry
Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income. – Dave Barry
I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, Including: Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark. – Dave Barry
When I look back at those pictures of my mother performing – and listen to her recordings – it makes me sad to think that all of that joy she found in her work came to an end. I wish she hadnt had to make that sacrifice, even if it was for the benefit of my father and siblings and me. – Marlo Thomas