I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories. – Dave Barry
I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War. – Dave Barry
It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. – Dave Barry
The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example. – Dave Barry