I want a pit crew… I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems. – Dave Barry
It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money. – Dave Barry
While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our config.sys settings. – Dave Barry
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. – Dave Barry
People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin