I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal. – Zach Galifianakis
Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. Theres just too much money. – Zach Galifianakis
My dad doesnt get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesnt understand them. Hes just laughing because people around him are laughing. – Zach Galifianakis
I think if they put a laugh track on Intervention, it would be funny. – Zach Galifianakis
On the other hand, when I give it closer thought, I realize Im not enough of a dictator to conduct an orchestra because it requires a pretty awful person. When you read these biographies of famous conductors, they are all awful people who fail in their private relationships. – Eberhard Weber