I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get. – Rodney Dangerfield
Im at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, Ive just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. – Rodney Dangerfield

I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get. – Rodney Dangerfield
Im at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, Ive just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. – Rodney Dangerfield
Yeah, I know Im ugly… I said to a bartender, Make me a zombie. He said God beat me to it. – Rodney Dangerfield
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend. – Rodney Dangerfield