When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. – Rodney Dangerfield
A girl phoned me the other day and said… Come on over, theres nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home. – Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. – Rodney Dangerfield
A girl phoned me the other day and said… Come on over, theres nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home. – Rodney Dangerfield
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. – Rodney Dangerfield
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. – Rodney Dangerfield