Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. – Dave Barry
While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our config.sys settings. – Dave Barry
Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes. – Dave Barry
A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn. – Dave Barry
If other Germans drink beer, German students swill it. If one is unable to toss off his fifteen glasses in an hour, it is regarded by his fellows as a sign of puerility only less strong than that he has the scar of no duel on his cheek. – Arthur Handly Marks, “Berlin: Its Bayonets and Its Beer” (Berlin, 1887 June 14th