Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. – Dave Barry
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. – Dave Barry
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs. – Dave Barry
Just get on any major highway, and eventually it will dead-end in a Disney parking area large enough to have its own climate, populated by large nomadic families who have been trying to find their cars since the Carter administration. – Dave Barry
If other Germans drink beer, German students swill it. If one is unable to toss off his fifteen glasses in an hour, it is regarded by his fellows as a sign of puerility only less strong than that he has the scar of no duel on his cheek. – Arthur Handly Marks, “Berlin: Its Bayonets and Its Beer” (Berlin, 1887 June 14th