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Quote by Demetri Martin
I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
Author
Demetri Martin
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Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
Author
Demetri Martin
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If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Time
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
good
category

Its good to know how to read, but its dangerous to know how to read and not how to interpret what youre reading. – Mike Tyson

Category:
good

Each year one vicious habit discarded, in time might make the worst of us good. – Benjamin Franklin

Category:
good

Say no more than yes, and just make sure you surround yourself with good people. – Lindsay Lohan

Category:
good

The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. – Bertrand Russell

Category:
good

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The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. – Josh Billings

Category:
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I think if youre a competent actor with a good imagination, and if its on the page, it makes your job a lot easier. – Miguel Ferrer

Category:
Imagination

I hump the wild to take it all in, there is no bag limit on happiness. – Ted Nugent

Category:
Happiness

There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist — the taxidermist leaves the hide. – Mortimer Caplan

Category:
Taxation