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Quote by Demetri Martin
I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Time
Author
Demetri Martin
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The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you be prepared to have it on you forever because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Scrapbooking
Author
Demetri Martin
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I like to use I Cant Believe its Not Butter on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Food
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
good
category

Setting a good example is a far better way to spread ideals than through force of arms. – Ron Paul

Category:
good

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. – Abraham Lincoln

Category:
good

What is moral is what you feel good after, and what is immoral is what you feel bad after. – Ernest Hemingway

Category:
good

What good am I? I cant have kids. I cant cook. Ive been divorced three times. Who would want me? – Marilyn Monroe

Category:
good

Random Quotes

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. – Marcy DeMaree

Category:
Grandparents

Id like to grow up and be beautiful. I know it doesnt matter, but it doesnt hurt. – Kirsten Dunst

Category:
Beauty

Deceive the rich and powerful if you will, but dont insult them. – Japanese Proverb

Category:
Deception/Lying

Religion is just mind control. – George Carlin

Category:
Religion