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Quote by Demetri Martin
I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, Looks like youre writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, youll get more money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
cool
Author
Demetri Martin
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I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin

Category:
Trust
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
good
category

A good teacher can inspire hope, ignite the imagination, and instill a love of learning. – Brad Henry

Category:
good

Politics ought to be the part-time profession of every citizen who would protect the rights and privileges of free people and who would preserve what is good and fruitful in our national heritage. – Dwight D. Eisenhower

Category:
good

To understand me, you have to meet me and be around me. And then only if Im in a good mood – dont meet me in a bad mood. – Avril Lavigne

Category:
good

An inexhaustible good nature is one of the most precious gifts of heaven, spreading itself like oil over the troubled sea of thought, and keeping the mind smooth and equable in the roughest weather. – Washington Irving

Category:
good

Random Quotes

Good music is good music, and everything else can go to hell. – Dave Matthews

Category:
Music

If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken Him completely by surprise. – P.Z. Pearce

Category:
Running

Monkeys are superior to men in this: When a monkey looks into a mirror, he sees a monkey. – Malcolm de Chazal

Category:
Humankind

My mother would give my brothers and me a pile of catalogues and let us pick what we wanted for Christmas. – Kary Mullis

Category:
Christmas