Quote by Demetri Martin
I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you be prepared to have it on you forever because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Scrapbooking
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I like to use I Cant Believe its Not Butter on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Food
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My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, youre stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem – just move on to the next. Grapes: The Fruit of Hope. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Hope
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Other Quotes from
good
category

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So thats all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers. – Ron White

Category:
good

Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained. – Lao Tzu

Category:
good

The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented Hell. – Bertrand Russell

Category:
good

Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow. – William Shakespeare

Category:
good

Random Quotes

Custom meets us at the cradle and leaves us only at the tomb. – Robert Ingersoll, Individuality

Category:
Conformity

Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things. – Elise Boulding

Parents are like shuttles on a loom. They join the threads of the past with threads of the future and leave their own bright patterns as they go. – Fred Rogers

Category:
Future

Im named after a horse. My moms best friend had a horse named Brooke, so my dad suggested Brooklyn as a more formal version, and it just stuck – and now I live in Brooklyn part-time, so go figure. – Brooklyn Decker

Category:
mom