Quote by Demetri Martin
I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, whos really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
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I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Birthday
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Other Quotes from
good
category

When you are older you will understand how precious little things, seemingly of no value in themselves, can be loved and prized above all price when they convey the love and thoughtfulness of a good heart. – Edwin Booth

Category:
good

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. – Thomas A. Edison

Category:
good

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. – Groucho Marx

Category:
good

It is practically impossible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration. – Edsger Dijkstra

Category:
good

Random Quotes

The great thing in the world is not so much to seek happiness as to earn peace and self-respect. – Thomas Huxley

Category:
great

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. – Bill Cosby, Fatherhood, 1986

Category:
Parents

Law is nothing unless close behind it stands a warm living public opinion. – Wendell Phillips

Category:
Justice & Law

The object of literature is to make man a wiser and happier being. The poet makes us happy because he tells us how we may become so. – Charles Lanman, “Thoughts on Literature,” 1840

Category:
Literature