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Quote by Demetri Martin
I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. Id come home and go to church and everybody would say, Oh, my God. Demetri, youre working at the White House. – Demetri Martin

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Home
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Demetri Martin
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I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

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Birthday
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Demetri Martin
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And of course I didnt make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money. – Demetri Martin

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Money
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Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
good
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I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall. – Eleanor Roosevelt

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good

What does kissing really mean to me? To me, if you feel, when you kiss a girl, that certain feeling of all those dolphins, like, swimming through your blood stream, and you get those good tingles inside your stomach, I dont think theres any better feeling. – Corey Haim

Category:
good

All credibility, all good conscience, all evidence of truth come only from the senses. – Friedrich Nietzsche

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good

I dont believe in team motivation. I believe in getting a team prepared so it knows it will have the necessary confidence when it steps on a field and be prepared to play a good game. – Tom Landry

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good

Random Quotes

The finite is annihilated in the presence of the infinite, and becomes a pure nothing. So our spirit before God, so our justice before divine justice. – Blaise Pascal

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God

I have never met anyone who did not support our troops. Sometimes, however, we hear accusations that someone or some group does not support the men and women serving in our Armed Forces. But this is pure demagoguery, and it is intellectually dishonest. – Ron Paul

Category:
Men

A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction. – Virginia Woolf

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Money

Our duty is to be useful, not according to our desires, but according to our powers. – Henri Frederic Amiel

Category:
power