Quote by Demetri Martin
I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Birthday
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People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin

Category:
car
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Other Quotes from
good
category

The brain is like a muscle. When it is in use we feel very good. Understanding is joyous. – Carl Sagan

Category:
good

All I can tell you really is if you get to the point where someone is telling you that you are not great or not good enough, just follow your heart and dont let anybody crush your dream. – Patti LaBelle

Category:
good

I think sportsmanship is knowing that it is a game, that we are only as a good as our opponents, and whether you win or lose, to always give 100 percent. – Sue Wicks

Category:
good

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. – P. J. ORourke

Category:
good

Random Quotes

Climate change is a terrible problem, and it absolutely needs to be solved. It deserves to be a huge priority. – Bill Gates

Category:
Change

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Lifes a bitch. Youve got to go out and kick ass. – Maya Angelou

Category:
Anger

Hold fast to youth and beauty. – Elizabeth Arden

Category:
Beauty

This is an important book, the critic assumes, because it deals with war. This is an insignificant book because it deals with the feelings of women in a drawing-room. – Virginia Woolf

Category:
War