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Quote by Demetri Martin
I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says go outside. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
Author
Demetri Martin
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I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, Looks like youre writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, youll get more money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
cool
Author
Demetri Martin
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I didnt do improv in college, I never performed, I didnt do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Government
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
good
category

The Jews dont like Farrakhan, so they call me Hitler. Well, thats a good name. Hitler was a very great man. – Louis Farrakhan

Category:
good

A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it. – Don Herold

Category:
good

When we are well, we all have good advice for those who are ill. – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Category:
good

Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets. – Yogi Berra

Category:
good

Random Quotes

I love making Italian food. And coconut chicken. – Joe Jonas

Category:
Food

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. – Raymond Hull

Category:
Be Yourself

Getting rid of Bin Laden is good for the cause of peace worldwide but what counts is to overcome the discourse and the methods – the violent methods – that were created and encouraged by Bin Laden and others in the world. – Ismail Haniyeh

Category:
Peace

There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them. – Vicki Baum

Category:
Homecoming