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Quote by Demetri Martin
I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
Author
Demetri Martin
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I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, Looks like youre writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, youll get more money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
cool
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
good
category

The reason this country continues its drift toward socialism and big nanny government is because too many people vote in the expectation of getting something for nothing, not because they have a concern for what is good for the country. – Lyn Nofziger

Category:
good

I surround myself with positive, productive people of good will and decency. – Ted Nugent

Category:
good

The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. – Bertrand Russell

Category:
good

Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so. – Robert Green Ingersoll

Category:
good

Random Quotes

I dont know that I spent any more time alone than any other kid, but being by myself never bothered me. – Joseph Barbera

Category:
alone

I have no problem with it. I dont look on homosexuality as an aberration. Its just they way theyre born, and how could any relationship between two people in a committed relationship be wrong, regardless of gender? – Andrea Thompson

Category:
relationship

What I needed most was to love and to be loved, eager to be caught. Happily I wrapped those painful bonds around me and sure enough, I would be lashed with the red-hot pokers or jealousy, by suspicions and fear, by burst of anger and quarrels. – Saint Augustine

Category:
Anger

If you improve education by teaching for competence, eliminating schooling, and connecting with students, the test scores will improve. – William Glasser

Category:
Education