Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. – George Carlin
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. – George Carlin
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. – George Carlin
Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. – George Carlin