When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table

When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant. – Author unknown

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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

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How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire? – Christy Whitehead

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