The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs. – Dave Barry
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. – Dave Barry
Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes. – Dave Barry
What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series. – Dave Barry