Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what youre told. – Dave Barry
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished and put inside boxes. – Dave Barry
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro. – Dave Barry
I want a pit crew… I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems. – Dave Barry
At the bottom of all the tributes paid to democracy is the little man walking into the little booth with a little pencil, making a little cross on a little bit of paper. No amount of rhetoric or voluminous discussion can possibly diminish the overwhelming importance of that point. – Sir Winston Churchill