The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors. – Ambrose Bierce
Sabbath – a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. – Ambrose Bierce
Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. – Ambrose Bierce
Brandy, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan. – Ambrose Bierce