Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. – Dennis Miller
The American education system couldnt be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood. – Dennis Miller
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Im a comedian, for Gods sake. Viewers shouldnt trust me. And you know what? Theyre hip enough to know they shouldnt trust me. Im just doing stand-up comedy. – Dennis Miller
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Whats so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. Its like a shock and aw shucks campaign. – Dennis Miller
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