Just put down 9/11… I think, on most things Im liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things Im kind of conservative on. – Dennis Miller
The American education system couldnt be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood. – Dennis Miller
Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nations highways. – Dennis Miller
Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. – Dennis Miller
I remember being in Atlantic City once when I was 18 or 19, and a sea of people were screaming and pulling their hair because I was there. It was weird. Nobody deserves adulation like that. I tried to explain it to my kids once. I said, Mommy used to be kind of cool, kind of like a Britney Spears. – Genie Francis