The reason women dont play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. – Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. – Phyllis Diller
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. – Phyllis Diller
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. – Phyllis Diller
I learn my lines while on the golf course. I try to do two or three things at once. I have ideas for books all the time, I have ideas for paintings all the time, and I write them all down. I take my sketchpad and my iPad, which I design on, and I do sit down and do specific tasks at specific times. – Jane Seymour